Rocket propelled eggs

Every May for the past eight years our scout troop puts on a unique event. Each time we witness men and boys diving for cover as fresh grade A eggs fall from the sky with incredible speed.

It's our eighth annual Father-son egg-lofting contest.

A couple of weeks before the contest we start building the egg-lofting rockets. Kits are distributed to around twenty father-son teams. My two boys each get a kit.

I'm a little eccentric. To help me build a better rocket I bought a model rocket flight simulator program. It lets me simulate changes in the parameters of the rocket such as the fin shape and rocket size to improve my flights. My wife thinks I'm crazy.

My son's enjoy building rockets. First they build the payload compartment that holds and protects the egg during the flight. They glue the motor assembly together and mount it in the rocket body. Then they glue the fins on the sides with elementary-school finesse. I follow them with a rag to wipe off the dripping glue and to help straighten everything out. After the glue sets, the boys use spray cans to create a strangely patchy, yet runny paint job that would make any auto body-shop employee cringe. But hey, it's their rocket and as long as it is glued together correctly I don't care how it looks. Structural integrity is the only thing that is important when you are sending an egg into the atmosphere at 120 miles per hour.

The day of the launch is pure excitement. We normally camp overnight and by ten o'clock in the morning on Saturday the boy's excitement peaks. I built a five lane rocket-launching system to speed up preparations. Five rockets can be prepared to launch simultaneously. Then we launch one rocket at a time and use a stop-watch to see how long each stays airborne. The team with the rocket that stays airborne the longest is the winner.

The most interesting launches are over in seconds. The rockets achieve an altitude of around 500 feet before the parachute deploys. Sometimes the parachute doesn't open and the egg comes drops back to earth with impressive promptness. We have an award for the most scrambled egg.

It is also amusing when the wind pushes a parachuting rocket over the forest, never to be seen again, with a father and son running together across the field in hot pursuit.

Occasionally a rocket malfunctions and never leaves the pad. The resulting smoldering heap is carried away with outstretched arms like it's an injured family pet.

In spite of the lawn darts and catastrophic take-offs, the event is a thrill to everyone in attendance. The grand prize is a three foot tall progressive trophy. It has granite eggs on top of pillars and a post to mount the winning rocket on top. The winning team keeps the trophy for the year. The winner's name is engraved on the trophy and it is passed on to the next year's winner.

My name hasn't been on the trophy in eight years. I need to go run some more rocket simulations. Maybe my wife is right...