Did it bite me?

It was late Friday night.  My wife and I were cuddling on the couch and enjoying a movie.  The kids were in bed, asleep.  It was 9:00 p.m. and the sun was setting.  We heard voices on the driveway and I paused the movie to see what was going on. 

I peaked out the window and saw five boys crouched in a tight circle on my driveway.  I opened the front door and called out, "Hey there gentlemen.  What are you up to tonight?"

"We know you like snakes so we brought you one."

I smiled and skipped down from the porch over to the breaking huddle.  I looked down in the twilight and felt my heart stop for a second.  My smile evaporated.  They were all in striking distance of a baby rattlesnake.  

"Boys get back that's a rattler."  I tried to say with a calm tone.

The boys shifted back and the rattler coiled up. 

"Did it bite me?  Did it bite me?"  One of the boys yelled out as he patted himself down like a spider was in his shirt. 

"If it bit you you'd know it.  Stay back.  How did you get it on my driveway?"

"It was slithering across the street.  It didn't rattle at us, so we thought it wasn't poisonous.  I took my shirt off and threw it over the snake and bundled it up.  It was just a block away from here."

"See its tail?  When they hatch there is no rattle.  Every time they shed they get a new knob and the knobs rattle against themselves when they shake their tails.  Look at the jaw, see how it looks like a pit-bull?  A head like that means it's venomous.  Watch it for a second while I get my snake tongs out of the garage.  Stay back!"

I returned moments later and put the rattler in a red five-gallon bucket with a twist on lid that was used as a shield.  I decided to keep the snake intact.  I needed to teach my kids what kind of snake was too dangerous to handle.  I filled the bucket with water and drowned the rattler.  I had leftover formaldehyde from college.  I used it to bottle the snake in a mason jar. 

An hour after we paused our movie, I presented the bottle to my wife.  She kept her distance as if the snake was still a danger to her in the jar.  I showed it to my kids in the morning.  They gained a new appreciation for something that lived near our home.

A couple of months later, while I was shopping, I came across a robotic rattlesnake that was motion activated.  It hissed, it's head struck, and the tail rattled when you passed in front of it.  I couldn't resist buying it and placing it in the refrigerator to scare my spouse.  It has scared her every time I put it in there.  I think she liked it because she never threw it away, she just threw it at me.  Those are good times dodging toy rattlesnakes from a scared wife.  I think it's about time to get that toy out of storage again.


NOTE:  Every year I get called in to catch one or two rattlesnakes from neighborhood yards.  Those snakes get to ride in the red bucket  to the top of the canyon where they are released back into the wilderness.  Many people have learned about rattlesnakes and their benefits through the bottled specimen.