Life is like a birthday cake

A perfectly formed Dutch-Oven Pineapple upside-down cake sat on our table this week. It radiated from the glow of thirty-seven burning yellow candles. Each candle burned for a year of my wife’s life. Each of the flickering flames represented another trip she made around the sun. The last sixteen candles are the most important to me. They represent the times I’ve made that celestial journey with her.

1994 Flame 1: I first saw Emily. I noticed how beautiful she was. Tall and athletic.

1995 Flame 2: I got to know her through letters as we became strangely close through pen and paper. I learned that she sometimes misspells words in letters and likes to write often.

1996 Flame 3: We went on our first date, and I learned she was a great kisser and cuddler. I learned that even though she misspelled words in letters, she kicked my butt in SCRABBLE. Even when I cheated.

1997 Flame 4: We got married. I learned how athletic she really is. Six months after our first date, after being in person for only 15 days, we were wed. I learned how wonderful it was to have an unfailing friend at home.

1998 Flame 5: She bore our daughter, Carrie. I learned how tough she is as she pushed a 10 pound 5 ounce baby out of her body.

1999 Flame 6: Her maternal instincts came out. I learned how great she was with kids and how loving she was as a mother.

2000 Flame 7: She bore our son, Chris. He was under eight pounds and was an easier delivery. I learned she had patience with two kids and a needy husband.

2001 Flame 8: I finished my animal science degree and decided not to use it for work. I learned that she was understanding.

2002 Flame 9: We bought a house in Utah and left California. I learned how much she missed her family and wanted to be around them a lot. I mean a lot. Did I mention she wanted to be around her family? I started fishing.

2003 Flame 10: She bore our second son, Coleman. I learned she could juggle. With two kids you can grab one with of each of their hands. The third one is the hardest. We need an extra arm every time we have kids and a new set of teeth to grow in at age 50 and 75.

2004 Flame 11: We started a business. I learned that she would support me in whatever I did as long as it was honorable.

2005 Flame 12: We hired our first employee. It was like having another kid but without the diapers. It required the same amount of babysitting. I learned that I could vent about the business to my wife. She hasn’t called me a whiner yet. That is nice.

2006 Flame 13: Nothing too eventful happened that year. I learned that my wife was fun to be with even in uneventful years.

2007 Flame 14: I took up duck hunting and bought a dog and way more hunting gear than I should have. I learned that my wife was forgiving.

2008 Flame 15: Christopher got diabetes. I learned my wife was a good nurse and counselor to an ailing child. We didn’t dare leave him with a babysitter so we quit dating. Our business struggled and almost failed. Probably our hardest year of marriage so far. I learned that we had limits and were dancing with them. I learned that my wife needed breaks with her friends as much as I did. I saw how refreshed she was after those breaks.

2009 Flame 16: A continuation of Flame 15. Still really hard, but Christopher and Carrie became mature enough that we could date again. I learned how fun it is to fall in love with the same person over and over again.

2010 Candle 17: She gets this candle next year. It hasn't been lit yet.

She blew out the candles. The cake was as good as it looked. The best part was standing in the warm glow of my wife's presence and the soft light of the candles enjoying the memories they represent. Next year will be even warmer.