Why is saving the earth so noisy?

OK, it was bad enough when eating chips was noisy when you chewed.  Many conversations while snacking involved halted chewing to be able to hear what the other person was saying.  But the new Sunchip bags take it to a new extreme.  I swear that vacuuming and operating a concrete chisel are quieter activities than eating out of the new "green" bags.  I mean seriously, could they be any noisier?  I have to put on my shooting earmuffs before opening a bag of Garden Salsa Sunchips.  I'm talking afterburner decibels.  Is hearing loss really what we have to accept for a greener Sunchip bag?  Don't bother replying.  I won't be able to hear you anyway.